What do teachers do on half-days? I think they have a big tea party! I asked Sikowitz but he wouldn't tell me.

If anyone wants FREE cotton candy, come see me! Larry the Candyman will be happy to make cotton candy for everyone!

My brother told me he "bought" me 23 Christmas trees. A few hours later, the cops took them back to the park and re-planted them.

My doctor says I need therapy. Does aromatherapy count? I hope so, I love smelling things!

My brother's outside howling at the moon again. Whenever he doesn't shave for a few days he thinks he's turning into a werewolf.

When I'm 98 years old, do you think I'll still be able to... ooh, pretty rainbow. Bye.

I'm sick of waiting for Christmas! I want to celebrate it now! Ho! Ho! Ho!

I'm watching my French neighbor's cat. Does anyone know how to say "Don't pee in the house" in French? I don't think this cat speaks English.

My #1 goal in life had always been to drive around town in a giant cupcake. I feel very lucky. Not everyone achieves their goals in life.

I just met a celebrity at the grocery store!!! I totally forgot his name but he's that blond guy who was in that huge popular movie last summer! Wow!